MY MEMORIES
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Hmm.. Let's see.. Ever since that day, I was pestered. -_- Was told great many stories.. Some of the same story but in different accounts. Now I'm seriously wondering which is right and which is is not but heck, I decided that I'm just gonna forget about it :) hehe it doesn't concern me anyway.
Inside I'm tired and so I'm gonna freeze up. Damn. Even new people are telling me that they're tired. Well, haha, if you're tired, what about me? Sometimes I really don't get it. What you do, you may not be treated justly but just wait and see.. The future may be brighter than you think. :)
Oh yes, I met Eric's sister ^^ Meme Patricia ^^ teehee!! Immuutt~ You know what? The first time I met her, she was always clinging onto Eric! Awww!! How cute!! Teehee~ How I wish I could have such a close relationship with somebody :) But gee, haha I'm always pictures as a self-sufficient-girl. Okay, now, that is correct after all =/ Haha! So what can I say, huh.
Sigh.. I seriously wonder if I can call them family, cuz seriously I think that they are not there yet =/ Not as close as the peepz that I knew.. I guess time changes endlessly huh? The world that I knew is not the same as the one that I know right now. Same goes to the people that I knew - not the same the ones I just knew.
Seriously speaking, I've never felt some of the feelings that I felt these recent years. Why? Hmm.. I'd say that it's because my life in the past was far more simple. I would love to have a simple life again. Simplicity is sometimes the best. However, having been through these, I guess I'm tougher. Now I know the feeling of Pity, Betrayed, Helpless, Hopeless and Useless. Haha! Not bad, huh.
i gotta thank those who taught me these.. Umm oh, there's another one actually.. Unfairness. In the past, I thought that no matter how unfair a thing is, it COULD be fair in a way or another.. But well, thanks to.. Some people, I finally realises that unfairness tastes like shit. Well, I haven't tasted shit before, but I bet that it is shit-like.
Whereas for Pity.. Umm.. The feeling's rather odd, actually. It's neither here nor there. I don't know how to put this into words but it really is.. Sad.
Hmm Betrayed? Haha. Since I was much.. Younger (I shall put it this way, cause I'm still young ^^;;), I knew that this feeling is gonna be hurtful. I knew that this is a feeling I never wanna go through. I KNEW that it was gonna take something out of my heart. I KNEW, I KNEW. BUT I dunno why, for some freaking reason, I let my guards down! Dammit. I was really angry at myself. I knew the consequences and I was pretty cautious already, yet, I was fooled. Haha! Thank god I recovered from it ^^ Hehe.. Oh, this is also reason why I dun wanna have a boyfriend just yet.. LOL I think I'm gonna go crazy if I have one.. No, seriously.
Helpless, Hopeless, Useless.. They're under the same group. Well, Hopeless is not necessarily what I felt. It was just there for a moment or two, ya know. But then I thought again and hey! Nothing is hopeless in this world. As long as you keep the Flame of Hope in you, I'm sure that you'll be able to stand up again ^^ Yepz, the flame's still burning in me :) And that brings us to Helpless and Useless.. Seriously, I hang onto my hopes.. Spiritually it helps but physically, it doesn't. That's when I felt really helpless.. Especially with our distance.. I could not do anything from here!! It's too far!! I wished I could fly over, in fact, I wish I can fly over NOW! But I can't.. I'm really so helpless.. I feel so useless! what's the point of wanting to help but not being able to? It's really stupid..
Oh yes, and I finally realises how stupid i am this year. Finally. I bet that I'm one of the most useless person in my family.. Haiz v_v dammit. My results are bad too.. Failed my subjects. Just great. Couldn't even score at least an A or a B3 for my English.. Dammit. screwed up my Mother Tongue like noone's business. Don't even talk about my math. Sheit.
But oh well, since they've past, shall think about the happy things that have been happening :D (of cource, ignoring all the unhappy ones, there's a lot of those actually. Haha! but who cares.. That's it. I'm gonna bury them right behind ^^) So.. welcome SUNNY DAYS!
-Ohio means family.
Family means no one gets forgotten or left behind.-
``engraved at ; 1:10 AM
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